Bored, Uninspired, and Stuck: Searching for Self-Actualization

We have all felt this way at times: we’re bored. New ideas feel “meh.” We have no sense that we’re getting anywhere. What we’re looking for is Self-Actualization, and we hope by understanding what that is, you can begin to find it more consistently.

Self-Actualization, along with Self-Regard and Emotional Self-Awareness, is part of the Self-Perception composite in the EQ-i 2.0™ model of emotional intelligence.

What is Self-Actualization?

Self-Actualization refers to a willingness to persistently try to improve yourself and engage in the pursuit of personally relevant and meaningful objectives that lead to a rich and enjoyable life. When we can consistently and powerfully engage Self-Actualization, we will tend to have a strong drive toward self-improvement. We will actively pursue intellectual and emotional satisfaction through meaningful work and play.

When we struggle with Self-Actualization, we can be unable or unwilling to work toward personal goals or improve our own performance. We might neglect our intellectual and emotional skills, feeling bored and uninspired. Others might experience us as lacking ambition, enthusiasm, or motivation.

Strong Self-Actualization results in a sense of drive and inspiration. You are engaged in life, and you come across as ambitious and striving to grow and improve.

Two things you can do to improve Self-Actualization right now:

1. Write down the values that are most meaningful to you. It doesn’t matter if they are personal, spiritual, or related to family or community. What matters is that they are real for you. Then write down how your daily activities connect with these values. If you find your values are not supported by your daily actions, think of one small act that aligns with what matters and do it.
2. Think about your future, about something that would be inspiring for you. Then talk to someone about it – a spouse, a close friend, a trusted colleague.

Too much of a good thing:

When Self-Actualization is out of balance relative to other dimensions of emotional intelligence, you might occur to others as obnoxiously intense, perpetually dissatisfied with the present, excessively goal-driven, and dominating. The solution is not to suppress your sense of self-actualization — it sounds pretty strange to say one is too self-actualized — but rather to do more of those behaviors that create balance. These include focusing more attention on EI dimensions like Flexibility, Interpersonal Relationships, and Empathy.

Thank you for reading, and stay tuned for more on emotional intelligence. In this series, we will be doing a deep dive into each EQ–i 2.0 sub-scale, explaining how it plays into overall EI, and looking at actionable opportunities for developing it further. In the meantime, you can here if you are interested in taking the EQ–i 2.0 assessment.